Successful leaders suck at helping themselves
One of the most ironic things about working with leaders is that they tend to struggle accomplishing personal goals.
Honestleigh, it's actually kind of funny! 😅 Here we are, some of the hardest working and successful individuals amongst our peers, and yet, we have trouble getting things done for ourselves.
Why is that?
Let me explain by sharing an observation I made while coaching one of my overachieving clients. We’ll call her Jennifer. Jennifer is the classic business owner. At work, she hustles and her business is successful. Outside of work, she has a full life of things she loves doing, and yet, she unwittingly puts off anything she has to do for herself until the day after nope. She really wants to invest in her friendships, but can never seem to find time to do it.
So I got curious and asked her some questions.
“When a teacher gave you an assignment, how often did you complete that assignment?”
“Oh, always.”
“Think back to your first jobs. How did you do on tasks with your first jobs?”
“I completed every assignment.”
“How often do you complete tasks for others successfully?”
“100% of the time.”
Isn’t the irony thick?
Overachievers have no problem completing tasks for other people. This problem seems to only arise when it comes to completing them for themselves.
Now, we could dig to find out more about the why, but pshh. Who cares? As is true with coaching, I'm not that interested in the why. In our work, we're focusing on creating change and fostering action. In fact, I'm a master at helping you achieve change.
Nearly every client I have struggles with follow-through for themselves in some way, shape, or form. When I work with my clients who have this tendency, we spend time on discovering what would be required to take the action.
One method for this is to Promise and Prove. How does this work?
There are two ways I see to best do this:
External: They have to promise and prove their actions to me.
Internal: I teach them how to leverage their ability to please others so that they can promise and prove to themselves.
While my goal is for you to learn autonomous self-leadership habits, everyone can benefit from external accountability, especially on those impossible tasks. Naturally, one of the fantastic benefits of hiring a coach is the built-in accountability of having someone to hold you accountable (and to not disappoint). Suddenly, with a little more effort than showing up to our coaching calls, 💥BAM💥, things suddenly get done. Coaching not only fosters “check off the list” productiveness, but it's powerful for you to finally break through in tasks that you’ve been treading water for quite some time.
Coaching works.
By no means is accountability the only benefit of coaching but, in my opinion, it is one of the most motivating benefits since accomplishing projects begets positive feelings, forward momentum, and bigger confidence.
Jennifer found this tactic to work for her as well. When we looked at where she could promise and prove, she was willing to leverage her ability to help others to help herself and I held her accountable for these actions. Today, Jennifer has started teaching courses as an independent contractor in a music program where she gets to own her time, her life, and she loves what she does.
When this comes up in coaching, I help my clients formulate new habits that allow them to promise and prove for themselves. The game is to leverage your instincts to please others so that you can please yourself in that same way. It's a very specific process that allows us to do that and, quite honestly, it's a magic power that once you learn how to achieve, you never forget.
Until that time and when you’re blocked, accountability partners are where it's at. Use me, use a friend, use a partner, use anyone to keep you accountable and you'll finally manifest the change you wish to see in your life.
Who can you recruit to help you make strong changes in your life?
